A Guide to Leaving Everything Behind.

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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from one of our UK readers.

How do you say goodbye to everyone you care about?

Leaving behind all the things you love is hard. No matter how excited you are about your big backpacking adventure, you’re never 100% winning; there’s always something you’re sad about losing.

Obviously, travelling is a net win. No one would do it if it wasn’t. For everything you give up, you’ll gain ten-fold in new experiences, new friends and new memories. But that doesn’t ease the hurt of waving goodbye to your parents at the airport, leaving your closest friends and knowing you won’t see your girlfriend or boyfriend for several months.

The pain of separation is real, and all backpackers experience it to varying degrees. So here is some advice from an experienced traveller on what to do, what to say and how to take care of things before you leave.

Boyfriend / girlfriend

Should you keep the love alive or head off to brighter relationship pastures?

Time to be honest – do you really love them? Do you really want to be together when you get back in six months? Can you see a genuine future as a couple? These questions will affect whether you should say ‘Adios for now’, or simply ‘Adios’.

If the answers to these questions are ‘yes’, then you can make the distance work. You can survive. It’s hard, but doable. When you say goodbye you just need to reassure your partner that those blonde Aussie girls or tanned Brazilian dudes – whatever your preference – aren’t going to take you away from them. Well, they will, but not in a sexy, cheaty way. You need to emphasise you can be faithful. You will be faithful. And, hey, if you travel the world and can’t find anyone better, your relationship’s a banker.

If the answers to the above questions are ‘no’, then trying to stay together is a bad idea. Trying to sustain a long-distance relationship you’re not invested in will be frustrating, exhausting and, ultimately, pointless – you’re going to break up anyway; why not do it now? Seems harsh, but it will save you both a lot of heartache down the line.  The world is full of new experiences. New girls and guys. Don’t sit out the game for a moribund relationship. You’ll regret it.

Parents

Don’t forget to call your parents & grandparents!

With your folks it’s less a case of reassuring them that your relationship will survive, and more about convincing them that you’ll be safe and happy out on the back roads of India or whatever you’re going.

Ease the goodbyes by explaining how you’ll check in at regular intervals; a phone call, an email, even a text message – just some form of communication that will tell them where you are and that YOU ARE ALIVE.

Your parents aren’t being hysterical about this stuff, by the way. They’ve conceived you, fed you, clothed you and generally raised you for the last 18 years-plus. They’ve vicariously lived through every cut, bruise and break; every hope, dream and triumph. And now you’re not only leaving the nest, but flying thousands of miles away from it. It’s a big deal for parents to let you go. It’s emotional. So, you know, drop them an email every now and then to let them know you’re okay.

Friends

This might be your view but try not to gloat on FB…too much.

It used to be hard to stay in touch with your friends when you were travelling. Now it’s almost too easy. Connected by smartphones and a multitude of social platforms, it’s simple to share your backpacking experiences through blogs and networks.

So it’s still difficult to wave goodbye to your BFFs, but these days saying cheerio to your friendship pool isn’t the big deal it was back in the day. Celebrate by having a huge leaving party. Enjoy the last days of face time before you’re reduced to FaceTime. But reassure your friends that you won’t overwhelm them with videos, photos and a constant barrage of status updates over the next few months.

Why? There’s a thin line between sharing your experience and bragging about what a great time you’re having. When people check their Facebook feed on a dark, rainy Tuesday at work they don’t want to deal with a photo onslaught of you stroking tigers, hanging with monks and chillaxing on the beach. You may inadvertently stumble into Unfriendsville. It’s a lonely place. Don’t go there. Your mates want to know you’re having a good time. You don’t have to rub their faces in it.

Pets

Does your pet want to travel with you? Chachy always wants to travel with us – the hardest part of traveling is leaving him behind…

Your pets are a cross between a friend and family. I hope you don’t think of them like a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Whether it’s a dwarf bunny or Great Dane, saying goodbye to our pets can, in a way, be the hardest of all. They’re used to you. They’re attached to the sight of you; the feel of you and the smell of you. They don’t understand where you’re going, and they won’t understand that you’re coming back. Plus, they have shorter lives than us human animals, so not seeing them for several months is more significant.

Make the most of your time together before you leave, and be sure that whoever your leave your friendly feline or irreplaceable rodent with knows about cat care and mouse maintenance.

The boring stuff

Okay, you might not love this stuff, but it’s important that you leave it in the right state. For starters, before you go make copies of your passport, your flight tickets, hostel bookings, rental car references, contact details and all your insurance documents. Also make a note of any important ferry routes, train stations and toll roads. It pays to be organised. Keep all of this information in a safe place, or with a safe person. Preferably both.

If you’re living on your own or sharing with friends, make sure you have arranged what’s going to happen with bills, taxes, loans, etc. You don’t want to be relaxing in a hammock in Argentina and be getting calls from your landlord or the taxman wondering why they haven’t got their money. Conversely, make sure you don’t leave still paying subscriptions for things like magazines and DVDs you aren’t going to use while you’re away. It’s never been easier to manage your money on the road, so you have no excuses to sort this stuff out even after you’ve left.

Sometimes you there will be people you won’t want to say goodbye to, but have to. Colleagues, bosses, neighbours, distant relatives; you might actively want to get away from some of these people, but they might be upset if you don’t pay them a farewell visit. Suck it up and make the effort.

The silly stuff

Right, you’ve honoured your commitments and sorted the emotional stuff; now it’s time to think about anything else you might have forgotten to tie up before you depart for more exotic climes.

Is there anything you promised to do before you left – or after you left? Anything on-going you need to pause or cease? You don’t want to be halfway to New Zealand and remember you said you’d help Dave move house the next day, or that you’ve got an hour to make a move in some online game you’ve been playing for weeks? They’re little things, but can really annoy you and get your trip off to a bad start.

So there you go; helpful hints and tips on leaving everything behind, from the serious to the trivial. What have I missed, Beers and Beaners? Let me know!

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*Please remember all photos on this website, unless otherwise noted, are copyrighted and property of Beers and Beans Travel Website, Nariko’ s Nest Weddings & Bethany Salvon. Please do not use them without my permission. If you do want to use one of them please contact me first because I do love to share and I would be flattered. Thanks!