Celebrate Adrian’s Life. Do something good today..

By Posted in - Personal on August 20th, 2008

Hmm… It is still so hard to comprehend. When I checked today and saw the post I felt ruined and desolate. Even though I knew this post would come, it still hit like a ton of bricks. I cried all day at work. Adrian Sudbury, the Extraordinaire, passed away today, ending a long battle with Leukemia, but not before making a lasting change in the world.  

Sunset on August 20, 2008


This is someone, who although we never met, through our brief emails and exchange of ideas I considered to be a friend. I have elaborated more on this great guy and his plight in other posts and I will do so in the future. I will probably change this post around at a later date as well but today this is what is on my mind. Today was a solemn day.

This line kept repeating up in my head: “What you do takes your further away.”

Courtesy of Mary Magdalene and simply put – what we do in our daily lives, (relationships, work, etc) when we don’t do the right thing, takes us further away. Further from the person we could be and the person we most likely want to be. It leaves us imbalanced and makes us feel insignificant. Usually when we feel this way, we act out – yell at the slow driver, complain about the co-worker who is driving us mad, take our bad day out on our friends & family, etc. We say/think the things we don’t really mean and throughout the day, even if we don’t recognize it, all of those things add up and take us just a little bit further away. Further from the person we want to be, the person, who in actuality, is already within us. Most of us get so caught up in the daily grind that we don’t even remember this. 

If you believe in that concept it only makes sense that the converse must also be true. If what we do has the ability to take us further, than in the same right, there must also be things we do that can bring us closer. Closer to a sense of being, accomplishment & balance. Closer to the type of person we want to be and the changes we want to see in the world. 

This is Adrian, this is where he hangs out – he brings us closer.  Closer to doing the right things for the right reasons. The first gift of bone marrow education he gave us is quite remarkable. Hundreds, if not thousands of people could be saved because of his actions. However the secondary gift he gave, the gift of doing the right thing, is just as immeasurable. Numerous people have commented and thanked him for making them a better person. It’s true – there is something in this blog that you simply can’t deny. The poignancy of his life tribulations made other people lead better lives. Suddenly perfect strangers started thinking twice about the things they did and started going out of their way to do even better things for other strangers. What a beautiful cycle. Thank you Adrian!

 I am one of those people. How could I be so angry at the annoying driver making me late to work when Adrian was dealing with everything in his life and still managing to make the world a better place? I started to think twice and suddenly rushing off in traffic late to work started to become a strange sort of mediation. Thinking about Adrian and the way he chose to live his life, made me live mine better as well. Reading his thoughts gave me a template of understanding. It just made sense and it felt quite tangible, something I could work on. Other people writing similar things on here that convinced me I wasn’t alone in this thought. 

Adrian brought me closer – closer to the person I wanted to be. 

 It seems to me that he brought a lot of people closer. When Adrian’s Army came to fruition it just seemed like the most natural thing – do the right thing and the world will listen. It’s just that simple. 

His light may have been far too short on this earth, but he really could pack a house. Influencing politicians, lobbying for bone marrow transplants, winning awards & making perfect strangers friends – he did a lot! The world was really so lucky to have him. I can only be glad now that he is no longer hurting and I can only hope that our paths will cross again, perhaps in a more permeable way, in another life.

Good luck in Norway Adrian, I figure that is where you’re going now. 

With all the love from the bottom to the top – Bethany


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(6) awesome folk have had something to say...

  • Liam -

    August 21, 2008 at 3:26 am

    Hi Bethany,

    Thank you for your very moving tribute. It’s a difficult time now as I’m sure you can understand but its good to know that Adrian’s life touched so many people.

    Best wishes for the future, hope you are good


  • Denise -

    August 21, 2008 at 3:32 am

    Thank you for the beautiful shot and the thoughts re Adrian. You are so right. It’s very slightly (only what you said is more so!) like the drain/radiator theory. Adrian was a true radiator – giving out warmth, and life no matter what his own circumstances.
    I have to ask though – Why Norway?
    Best wishes

  • Sage -

    August 21, 2008 at 5:49 am

    Moving words and tribute to Adrian’s life and meaning to you..

    If he were around today still, there would be a lot of people getting virtual hugs from him, I’m sure..


  • tash -

    September 3, 2008 at 7:08 am

    Beautiful Beth! Will definitely try to move closer to the person I want to be! Beautifully written.

  • beersandbeans -

    September 4, 2008 at 2:20 am

    Why Norway?

    Although I did not know at the time, the night Adrian left I had a dream that both of my parents were dying. I was running around in a panic trying to fix things that couldn’t be fixed to prevent this. My mom was acting like she had Alzheimer’s – out of it, childlike, but happy. My dad was also happy and very calm, which i thought was very strange for the cimcumstances. I didn’t know why they were dying, they seemed healthy and they weren’t scared or worried in the slightest. I was very upset and couldn’t get a grip on the situation nor did i think it was OK in anyway. Then my father told me they were going to Norway. I was confused – why Norway? In real life, my parents have never talked of Norway and it was never planned in any of my travels to visit there.

    I asked them why they were going there because I just wanted them to stay with me instead. My dad said they had always wanted to go and so that’s what they were going to do NOW. It was their farewell voyage, I knew I would never see them again, which upset me greatly but not them. It was as if they had a larger understanding and knew not to worry. During the entire dream I was in a state of confusion yet strangely, I could see how at peace my parents were with this decision. I guess i was slightly comforted because they were so calm and ready for the journey and looking forward to it.

    It was a very wierd dream. I woke up and couldn’t get it out of my mind and I was really worried that something had happened to my parents and after a phone call I discovered they were fine. A couple hours later I read that Adrian had started his next adventure and it all began to make sense. I felt like it was just a little farewell from him, probably not to me in particular. Just a shout out from start of his journey onto new things and so that anyone listening at that moment would know that he was quite well. If this is the case, he was very at peace, almost i would say a bliss.

    Not sure how Norway falls into the scheme of things but I guess it’s not really important. Norway was just the beginning of the new road and the symbolic end to this one. The important thing was that he was at peace, calm and ready to begin the journey. Although it was a very emotional dream there was a great feeling of well being. I really feel in my heart that, whether he is in Norway or not, he is doing great, is happy and probably paying great attention to his loved ones.

  • Ann -

    September 14, 2008 at 5:17 am

    I found your website through ‘the widgets’. What a great idea are these!
    You write beautiful Bethany. I was moved by every word.
    Your very personal tribute to Adrian but a tribute also to our humanity.
    Norway indeed, the summer air and lichts are so lovely and ‘free’ up there…it makes everything and everyone clearly visible even from a very great distance – separated in space as in time!