Got Malaria? Want it?.
In an effort to save every cent for the upcoming trip, (which does include picking up all the spare pennies I find on the ground) I’m always on the lookout for new ways to make some extra loot. Like most people, I have a booked schedule and fitting in another job on top of the 2 I already have would be heinous, let alone difficult. Obviously, it would be perfect to find a job I could do a couple hours a day or a week, maybe from home, hell if I could do it in my sleep that would be even better. A lot of times I scan Craigslist looking for that little gem of a job but it always seems to involve talking in a low, breathy voice. I’m told I can wear my pajamas and still do this job – no one will know! However, I know I just can’t take a job like that. I tell myself it’s simply because I have high moral values and that my mother would be mortified if she ever found out but the reality is that it’s just a lack of self-confidence and the fact that I’m half deaf on the phone. “Huh? you wanna what?” You get the picture – bad, in more ways than one. In any case, I remain 3rd jobless. Today I found a rare opportunity on the MSN homepage. Yes, on the main page of MSN! This is the real deal!
Want to catch malaria — and get $4,000 for it?
Volunteers would be bitten by infected mosquitoes in vaccine study
updated 5:24 p.m. PT, Wed., March. 5, 2008
SEATTLE – The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria. ($4000???!!! Damn!)
Scientists say no lives are in danger because the volunteers can be cured. The institute is testing which vaccines work fastest. (How do I get in the fastest cure test group??)
The head of the program, Dr. Patrick Duffy, said volunteers will spend several nights under medical supervision in a hotel. (In a hotel?? Can I get room service??!!)
All of the human trials will be reviewed for safety by the Food and Drug Administration.
So when you break it down, it doesn’t really seem that bad. Then I cruised over to the cdc site and read the general symptoms of Malaria and it started to sound like a bad hangover, a bad hangover that you could get paid 4 G’s for dealing with:Headache Nausea Fever Vomiting Flu-like symptoms
Paid for a hangover?? A free hotel stay with room service?? Well heck, I’ve been plenty sick before and never got paid for it, hmm.
As I kept reading, I remembered, oh yeah, this is Malaria we’re talking about here. M A L A R I A – a disease that can cause cerebral malfunctions and organ failure. A disease that claims the lives of over 1 million people a year. A disease that promises all our celebrity good-doers will remain on the cover of People for years to come. This is not something to mess with. Anyone who jumps on this train could be volunteering as the newest member of the Darwin Awards.
Then I started thinking – why don’t they just bring these drugs to Africa, South America or any of the other 90+ countries where people are dying of Malaria everyday? They don’t have to infect or pay anyone and they can actually save lives at the same time. The lives of people who normally can’t get these drugs.
Hmmm… I’m going to spare the world my deep rooted cynacism (at least for this post) and not post my own opinion on this one.